When people think about abuse in a relationship, they often assume it to be physical. However, it’s not where the abuse starts or ends. Violence can be emotional and psychological too and sometimes; it can be everything in between. With all that said, it is important to acknowledge mental conditions such as depression and anxiety as the number one source of overall health breakdown. Nonetheless, it is essential to identify the relationship abuses that cause it.
Physical Violence – Most abusers are short-tempered, and when they can’t get what they want through words, they attempt to get it by physical means. Sadly, a heated argument in an abusive relationship always ends up with hitting, pushing, choking, tripping, and throwing things. As a result, someone or both of them get hurt. Christine Scott-Hudson, MA MFT ATR says, “Examples of physical abuse are behaviors like pushing, shouting over you, screaming in your face, physically taking things away from your grip, grabbing you tightly, squeezing, pinching, hitting, slapping, punching, biting, kicking, shoving, forced sexual contact, restraining, and destroying your property.”
Humiliation – This behavior is not considered in any relationship and recognized as an abusive red flag. Since most of the times it’s done in front of other people, it dramatically affects every person’s self-confidence. It is mostly used to keep the victims down, weak, and incapable of defending themselves. It targets the emotional, physical, and mental aspect of every individual’s overall well-being.
Controlling Behavior – Controllers are always present in an abusive relationship. It is where they take everything for granted as long as it benefits them. The controllers make a big deal about small things regarding their partners including what to wear, who to spend time with, what to eat, and where to go. In some instances, they attempt to change a person into someone that pleases their standards. It is important to note that “There are many types of toxic relationships such as a controlling or manipulative, negative, self-centered or narcissistic, dishonest, insecure, abusive, blaming or demanding and competitive, and secretive, and dramatic,” says Marie Manly, PhD.
Guilt Trips – Abusers will always find a way to get what they want. Unfortunately, guilt trip makes it possible. It is the process of using affection and responsibility to make someone follow and obey them. It puts the victim in a situation where they can no longer decide not to do it and force themselves to just give in to whatever it is the abusers want.
Getting Things By Force – “Power exists in all relationships. Having power means to have a sense of control, to have choices and the ability to influence our environment and others.” Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT said. An abusive relationship always has an ultimatum. The abusers hold their victims captive in an attempt to gain absolute control over the relationship. It is a behavior where every action needs to pay the price or at least needs to have something in return. Most of the times, it consists of threat, unbalanced choices, and unreasonable punishments.
Manipulation – In a relationship, emotional attachment becomes a person’s weakness. That’s why abusers use it to force their partners to takes responsibility for their feelings. This method makes the abusers more in control of the situation. Since its primary goal is to keep the abusers happy all the time, the victims fall into a pit where they think that every bad thing that is happening is their entire fault.
The abuse in a relationship is something serious. Victims shouldn’t keep quiet about it, and abusers must learn their lessons too. In every relationship, it doesn’t matter whether you are male or female. Abuse can happen to either gender. If the relationship causes too much pain, anxiety, depression, and heartache be brave enough to find time to let go of it.