Being in the marriage counseling business for many years taught me that women often served as glue in various households. When the man fails to do his part, the woman steps up and does the job. If the husband gets caught having an extramarital affair, the wife often forgives him and gives him as many chances as possible. That’s especially true if the couple has kids that they want to keep from having a broken family.
The thing is, statistics show that more women file for divorce compared to men. A few of my male clients who have experienced that come to me to ask why. Some even said, “I know I mess up all the time, but I want to change. Why can’t she wait for that?”
Well, I can think of many mental health-related reasons for that, such as:
You Have Exhausted Her Love
Regardless of how loving and patient you believe women can be, they are far from being saints. You may not always see it, but every awful thing you do chips away at their patience. Though they are smiling and enabling you on the outside, deep inside, they may be saying, “Go on and do everything you want now. When I get enough of your crap, we’re done for good.”
And that’s what genuinely happens when a man exhausts a woman’s love. Try not to be fooled if you gain their forgiveness quickly after one or three times. Your wife was kind to do that, but she was also observing what you would do with that kindness. The more you act nastily, the less her love for you becomes.
You Are Beyond Redemption
Some men with vices refuse to admit that they need to change anything about themselves. They insist that nothing is wrong, that all their drinking, gambling, or smoking habits somehow help them become better. However, no one else believes their alibis, especially not their wives, who look after them when they’re passed out.
If a woman leaves you in that state, it entails that you are already beyond redemption in her eyes. Nothing she could do or say would be able to save you. You can’t call her selfish, considering she has put up with you for years.
You Can’t Fool Her Anymore
My aunt is a perfect example of those martyr wives who remained with their cheating husbands no matter how many times they’ve learned about the latter’s sexcapades. It started with her husband’s secretary five years after their wedding. She let him be without confronting the man, thinking that he would get over her immediately. My aunt only called it quits when she realized that the mistress was already pregnant.
You see, a woman can merely be fooled if they let you fool them. Martyrs turn a blind eye on your mistakes while hoping that you will change. Getting someone else pregnant is a pretty done deal, so it’s not surprising if they want to end things with you because of that.
You Don’t Make Her Feel Safe
Messed-up guys sometimes say derogatory words with or without alcohol in their system. The problem is, they usually think nothing of it and act as if the woman was just dramatic when they seem to hurt. Worse, when the wife gets hit, the man expects her to forgive him, claiming that it’s merely his messed-up brain doing it.
In truth, physical and verbal types of abuse are deal breakers for a lot of women. You can cheat on them for as many times as you want, but hitting or demeaning them is different. When you no longer make them feel safe, they will undoubtedly leave you, even when you apologize repeatedly.
Your Wife Found A Better Man
Assuming your wife has always needed to take care of your sorry butt, it’s not impossible for them to look for another man who will want to take care of them. Some people call such women as flirty or homewrecker, but you may have broken your family first. She’s just making it official by divorcing you and moving on with a better man.
In that case, there’s no reason to fight the inevitable. You can’t do anything to win your wife back.
When a woman leaves you, try not to think that it is because she’s an ice queen or a slut or gold digger. Instead, look at yourself in the mirror and find out what qualities you have that are worth staying for. If you have a stable job and are an excellent provider and lover, you can question her decision. But if you are a drunkard, jobless, and mean husband, you should accept that she deserves a better life than what you can give.
Move on and give her a peace of mind then by signing the divorce papers. You will all be better for it.