Suffering Is A Choice

[Forms Of Abuse A Woman Suffers]


Every abuse that happens over and over is with consent. If women have been hurt for the first time, it is always their choice to stay and be harmed again, but why do abused women stay? It is because of hope. They find a way to justify what their husband did and sometimes end up blaming it to themselves. “Maybe, I talked back,” is what they keep saying in their heads. Nonetheless, no one has the right to hurt anyone, especially a husband who vowed to love his wife through thick and thin.

“For many people, the word “abuse” evokes images of physical violence and the visible marks it leaves. However, abuse comes in many forms, some of which are more subtle and harder to pinpoint. Emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse can build slowly in a relationship, and you may become accustomed to giving away little bits of your will and desire until eventually you’ve given all your power over to your partner.” Brandy Parris, MA, LMHC said. If you are abused in any way, go ahead and ask yourself, “Why do I let him do it?” Notice that there is the word LET. Yes, meaning you allow him to do so! You have a chance to walk out the door and go somewhere where no one can put down your self-worth, but instead, you choose to hope for the better.


Forms Of Abuse That A Woman Suffers:

  • When your husband hits you the first time, though it is not entirely acceptable, there is the thought that he was not himself. He might be overwhelmed with stress from work or for whatever reason, and the only person he feels he has the right to pour his emotions onto is you.

What if he hurts you the second time? What do you tell yourself then? There is no justifying it as it is unacceptable! No matter how stressed he is at work, he should never hurt you. You are not a punching bag! Have a little love and respect for yourself, and walk out the door.


  • How many times have you heard the words “You are worthless!” and how many times more are you willing to take? These three words can kill you inside more than you know. It affects your self-esteem to the point where you will think you are indeed worthless.

Unlike physical abuse where there is visible proof, emotional abuse is a deep wound from the inside. Unknowingly, the person suffering from it can slowly die. First, her soul, and eventually it will manifest in her physical being. It has already affected her will to be well that’s why her body, feeling too much stress, will sooner or later perish. With that, “If emotions become heightened, it’s a good idea to implement a safe word prior to the discussion which indicates that one of the partners needs to take a break,” says Michelle Smith, LMHC


  • Do you have other skills aside from keeping the household? Are you able to work, but your husband asks you to stay home and watch over the kids? It is okay if it is your choice, and you are well-provided, but if he doesn’t give you anything more than just what your family eats, you may be suffering from financial abuse.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Yes, we all age and having some wrinkles is natural, but you would know when you look worse than you should. If your husband is responsible enough, he will not let your beauty fade. He should never say “She’s a mom. How is she supposed to look?” Practice self-love no matter what. “Self-love is important to living well. It influences who you pick for a mate, the image you project at work, and how you cope with the problems in your life.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D.explains.


These forms of abuse are happening everywhere and every day, but these situations could never be if a woman has enough self-love and self-respect for oneself that she knows her worth. Itis always her choice to decide what she thinks she deserves.