A Victim of Domestic Abuse: How To Help Yourself

Being in an abusive relationship is probably one of the worse things that can happen in your life. It can be confusing to wake up every day being beaten by the person you love, but still, you have no courage to walk away from him. You may also get hurt because you expect the other people to change, but it seems that your wish has become impossible to happen. According to a therapist, it is only normal for a victim of domestic abuse to continue hoping that their abuser is going to change someday. It is the primary reason why most battered women still choose to live with their abusive partners.

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If you find yourself in a situation where your spouse continues to hurt you emotionally, physically, and verbally, then maybe it is about time to rethink the marriage.  How long are you going to allow yourself to suffer? Can you take more hardships and pains from the one you love? Or would you rather be alone and save yourself? These are some of the questions that will continue to haunt you down. We understand that it can be difficult on your part to make a decision, especially when you are afraid to make a wrong one. Because of this, we have decided to come up with an article that can help you to determine what you must do the moment your partner becomes violent and abusive. Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP explains that “All marriages are not salvageable. In the process of marriage counseling, some couples may discover it is healthier for them to be apart.”

Call The Local Authorities

Do not hesitate to get in touch with the police or law enforcement agencies the next time your partner hurts you. You must stop thinking about how your report can make his life miserable. Instead, think about yourself and your future. Remember that the more you keep quiet about the maltreatment that he is doing to you, the more he becomes empowered to hurt you continuously. Never give him the satisfaction of allowing him to beat you up while you keep quiet in the corner. If possible, let the police arrest him so that he can get his lesson.

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Talk About Your Situation

“Couples’ expectations about what marriage should be like are completely off from the reality of what marriage is actually like” Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC said. You must start to accept the reality that you have become a battered woman so that it will be easier on your part to open up to other people. As long as you do not have acceptance of your situation, you will find it challenging to discuss what you are going through to your friends, family, or loved ones. As much as possible, make an effort to communicate what you are feeling inside. Let other people know that you are hurting and do not hesitate to ask for their assistance. For sure, these individuals are more than willing to provide you with their love and care. However, take note that you have to be honest when it comes to communicating with them. Do not conceal any material information so that they can also learn how to trust your words. Failure to do this can make them doubt your sincerity, and they may become uninterested in extending help.

Attend Therapy Sessions

Another thing that you can take into consideration at this point is to seek professional help from a mental health expert. According to Julie Williams, Psy.D.,”Even better, these insights and skills that you’ll gain from marriage counseling and couples therapy can have great and lasting benefits in your other relationships, including in your relationships with colleagues, children, and other family members.” You can join group therapy sessions wherein you can see other women who have also become victims of domestic abuse. By connecting to these people, you will be able to open your eyes to a new perspective. Seeing them during group therapy sessions can help you become more motivated to get out of your current relationship. If you prefer your experience to be a little more confidential, you can try one-on-one sessions with a therapist. The choice depends on your preferences. Nonetheless, you must make an effort to select a therapist that is excellent at what he does and has been proven to be trustworthy.

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One of the things that you must never forget is to appreciate yourself. Take note that you are a fantastic person who deserves all the love and respect in this world. Stop making excuses for the behavior of the other person. The moment your husband laid his arms on you is the moment that you should have said goodbye to him. If he truly loves you, he will not hurt you in any manner. However, if you really insist on saving the marriage, it is best for both of you to seek the assistance and help of a marriage counselor. Take note that this will only work if you and your husband are willing to work it out.