A Victim of Domestic Abuse: How To Help Yourself

Being in an abusive relationship is probably one of the worse things that can happen in your life. It can be confusing to wake up every day being beaten by the person you love, but still, you have no courage to walk away from him. You may also get hurt because you expect the other people to change, but it seems that your wish has become impossible to happen. According to a therapist, it is only normal for a victim of domestic abuse to continue hoping that their abuser is going to change someday. It is the primary reason why most battered women still choose to live with their abusive partners.

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If you find yourself in a situation where your spouse continues to hurt you emotionally, physically, and verbally, then maybe it is about time to rethink the marriage. How long are you going to allow yourself to suffer? Can you take more hardships and pains from the one you love? Or would you rather be alone and save yourself? These are some of the questions that will continue to haunt you down. We understand that it can be difficult on your part to make a decision, especially when you are afraid to make a wrong one. Because of this, we have decided to come up with an article that can help you to determine what you must do the moment your partner becomes violent and abusive.

Call The Local Authorities

Do not hesitate to get in touch with the police or law enforcement agencies the next time your partner hurts you. You must stop thinking about how your report can make his life miserable. Instead, think about yourself and your future. Remember that the more you keep quiet about the maltreatment that he is doing to you, the more he becomes empowered to hurt you continuously. Never give him the satisfaction of allowing him to beat you up while you keep quiet in the corner. If possible, let the police arrest him so that he can get his lesson.

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Talk About Your Situation

You must start to accept the reality that you have become a battered woman so that it will be easier on your part to open up to other people. As long as you do not have acceptance of your situation, you will find it challenging to discuss what you are going through to your friends, family, or loved ones. As much as possible, make an effort to communicate what you are feeling inside. Let other people know that you are hurting and do not hesitate to ask for their assistance. For sure, these individuals are more than willing to provide you with their love and care. However, take note that you have to be honest when it comes to communicating with them. Do not conceal any material information so that they can also learn how to trust your words. Failure to do this can make them doubt your sincerity, and they may become uninterested in extending help.

Attend Therapy Sessions

Another thing that you can take into consideration at this point is to seek professional help from a mental health expert. You can join group therapy sessions wherein you can see other women who have also become victims of domestic abuse. By connecting to these people, you will be able to open your eyes to a new perspective. Seeing them during group therapy sessions can help you become more motivated to get out of your current relationship. If you prefer your experience to be a little more confidential, you can try one-on-one sessions with a therapist. The choice depends on your preferences. Nonetheless, you must make an effort to select a therapist that is excellent at what he does and has been proven to be trustworthy.

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One of the things that you must never forget is to appreciate yourself. Take note that you are a fantastic person who deserves all the love and respect in this world. Stop making excuses for the behavior of the other person. The moment your husband laid his arms on you is the moment that you should have said goodbye to him. If he truly loves you, he will not hurt you in any manner. However, if you really insist on saving the marriage, it is best for both of you to seek the assistance and help of a marriage counselor. Take note that this will only work if you and your husband are willing to work it out.



Psychology Explains Financial Abuse

Financial abuse happens in about 99% of domestic violence cases. That is because finances are often the most significant factor of marital conflict. It is the reason why victims return to their abusers and stay in a toxic relationship. But what exactly is financial abuse? How can you determine its presence in the marital relationship? What can you do to stop it from turning into a worse situation? Here is how psychology shed some light on domestic violence, particularly on this financial abuse.

Source: theindependent.co.uk

What Is Financial Abuse

Financial abuse is an unnoticeable tactic used by the abusers to gain control in a domestic violence situation. Usually, it often starts in a subtle way that no one can notice it even for an extended period. Its victims can be either females or males. But typically, a considerable percentage of it is women.

The process of controlling finances is one of the simple yet powerful methods used to keep victims trapped in an abusive marital relationship. Some common forms of abuse are forbidding the partners to work and earn money. The suggestions can execute in both vocal and unintentional ways. There is also controlling how much money gets spent. That is when one of the couples can use the funds to whatever pleases them. However, other individuals appear to get questioned every time they use a portion of the funds. Also, financial abuse has something to do with controlling everything on the paycheck. These include buying expensive stuff without the consent of the husband or wife. Another part of it is withholding all the combined income. It leaves one of the couples abundant, and the other one broke. Also, the removal of access to any bank account is a financial abuse as well, along with the condition of being given an allowance.

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The Sad Truth

In most cases, when the victims try and contemplate leaving, they immediately decide not to. They begin to think about how they are going to make it without financial support from their abusers. There is this mentality that leaving the relationship will only result in additional emotional and mental suffering. The truth is, it is an invisible weapon to weaken the victim. The effects are so damaging that victims do not consider leaving the situation even if they wanted to. With that, they ease their guilt, keep their peace, and do everything to make these abusers stay. And hopefully, make these people love them even more.

Usually, the process of abuse often disguises itself as a concern and love for the victims. The abusers can make it look like they want to take care of these people. But in reality, the only thing these abusers desire is complete control over their abused partners. Most financial abusers are narcissistic. They believe that their partners should feel privileged for having them in their lives. These individuals are experts in identifying their significant others’ weakness. They often come up with justifications and reasons why their spouses should owe them and give them what they want.

Not all abuse leaves people with visible scars. But that doesn’t mean that the action is not that painful and impactful. Financial abusers want what they can take. It is a simple principle that reflects their mentality of being self-entitled to do anything without thinking about others’ feelings. They believe that the things that belong to their partners are also theirs. But the things these people have or earned has nothing to do with their spouse or significant others.

Source: flickr.com

Say “No More”

Recovering from financial abuse requires healthy boundaries and awareness. The victims should try to discover the purpose of their lives that truly give them a reason to move forward. When the victims try and recognize their skills and capabilities, they will begin to change their mentality towards financial dependence. Once these individuals start educating themselves with ways on how to make and earn money, they will leave the abusers with no reason to hold them anymore. Aside from them gaining additional knowledge, these people also obtain financial independence as well. Victims must understand the difference between generosity and entitlement. Financial abusers are commonly takers. They sometimes use guilt, threat, and sympathy to achieve their abusive goal. Though the process of knowing it is difficult, individuals should watch out for unusual requests or offers.

The effects of financial abuse do not just stop when the victims get out of the situation. The mental and emotional torture can last for months, years, and even decades. That is why financial education and self-awareness is vital.

Is Your Partner Taking Advantage Of You? 10 Ways To Know

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Give and take is what makes a relationship strong. Keeping the relationship between two people equal is necessary. Yet in reality, there are cases wherein there is an imbalance in the relationship. Maintaining such situations can make the relationship go into a brink. It can even destroy a family. In this article, 10 facts to know that you are being taken advantage of by your partner is listed:

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Loving The Wife More And Understanding Her Less: Loving The Husband Less And Understanding Him More

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It is fate that unites a man and a woman, and as per the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, there are about 2,245,404 marriages in America, but 827,261 ended up in divorce. It seems love faded, and couples chose to part ways permanently.

There are many challenges in marriage since it is the union of two completely different individuals. They have to deal with their differences, and it is easier said than done. There will come the point where one can feel burned out by the relationship, and fortunately, there is always a choice to walk away.

The key to eternal marriage is becoming more and more difficult to possess. Married couples are more likely to settle differences in court than to work things out. However, there is a detested way to make a marriage last.

For some reason, it is the nature of women to love men profoundly, and for a long time, men have been trying to understand women. Maybe this is the problem, but our feelings and emotions blind us, and if we think about it thoroughly, this could indeed make sense.

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Loving The Wife More And Understanding Her Less

It is not that men love their wives inadequately. Maybe they feel it intensely but are showing it wrong. Men may not be aware that women have ideals when they think about marriage, and it is plain hypocrisy to say otherwise. Women may say they are content with this and that, but they have already set a standard. It is either husband meets or surpasses it, and anything less, to even an inch, makes love questionable.

Men should never understand women because it honestly is impossible. Women’s mind reaches the stars when thinking, and to try to catch up is not the wisest idea because they may only be gathering possibilities. Let’s face it; women are emotional. They tend to overthink about everything, and most of the time conflicts start because of him being him (insensitive) and her being her (too sensitive).

What men should do is to love their wives more, and they can do this by knowing their expectations and exceed them. Do the unexpected if you can because, with women, chances are they have already thought about ten different scenarios. Do the 11th because women love surprises. They may say they don’t, but they do!

Loving The Husband Less And Understanding Him More

Women have an intense way of feeling what they feel that they tend to ignore what they should be dealing with like their husband’s behavior. For instance, he drinks a lot or has a gambling problem. She may oversee this and love him unconditionally. She doesn’t mind that this is already a problem in their marriage, and instead of doing something about it, she keeps quiet and loves him more, but weeps silently.

Women should be objective that instead of blindly accepting all circumstances, she should be trying to understand the situation and think of ways to comprehend, to make her husband know that it is not okay or she is hurting with his behavior. The thing with women is that they assume and demand that men “should” know, and on the other hand, men are thinking “She’ll say something if it’s not okay.”

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Men and women are entirely different. They tend to think and function oppositely, and making them meet in the middle could be very challenging. Since they are the opposite of each other, maybe he ought to do what he wouldn’t, and she ought to not do what she does, but then again, we all act according to our feelings, and maybe it is the way it should be, and it is just about finding the one who fits the puzzle.

Relationship Anxiety – The Red Flags Of Abuse 

When people think about abuse in a relationship, they often assume it to be physical. However, it’s not where the abuse starts or ends. Violence can be emotional and psychological too and sometimes; it can be everything in between. With all that said, it is important to acknowledge mental conditions such as depression and anxiety as the number one source of overall health breakdown. Nonetheless, it is essential to identify the relationship abuses that cause it.


Source: ar.m.wikipedia.org


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Financial Abuse: It’s Real!

Financial abuse is real, but you seldom hear about it because most women were experiencing this type of damage are ashamed that they’re going through it. They don’t want to talk about it, not even with their friends, especially not with their family.   As much as possible, they want to show everyone that they made the right decision, that they married the right man.

source: stayathomemum.com.au

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For Better Or Worse: Three Other Types Of Abuse in Marriage

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How do we keep our marriage vows when our situation gets worse? Are we truly up for the worse? In every 1000 population in the US, the divorce rate is about0.007% or 7 out of every 1,000 population, and one of the main reasons for this is an abusive partner. Abuse can be common in marriages and relationships, especially on women. The Violence Against Women Act of 1994 (VAWA)was created with the intent to protect women against domestic violence.

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What Lurks Beneath the Shadows of an Abusive Passive-Aggressive Relationship?

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The toxicity of it all!

Saying, “Fine, whatever,” when it’s not fine, or answering, “If that’s what you want,” if the person is not supportive. Also claiming, “I’m not angry,” when the person is burning up inside. These are some of the most infuriating passive-aggressive statements that you might encounter in your marriage.

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